Friday, September 02, 2016

Blog reader long chronicle.... Was I wrong?


My name is Sa..... I am a regular visitor of your blog and I need advice on what to do. Please its long ...Few years ago I had accommodation problem in Lagos, my elder sister friend also living there volunteered to accommodate me for six months until I get my place. She was accommodating. Sometimes she cooks and sometimes I do that too. We never had problems because I mind my business. We became close after a while. (she's older than me with 5 yrs). Her boyfriend that rented the place for her usually come to see us and even take us out. There was a day my hair was rough, he told me I shouldn't worry that he was going to give me money for it, I refused. His gf wasn't there. She went to buy something. On a particular day, I followed the two of them to a night party, it was already late and we could not go home that night. He took us to a hotel, my sis friend was a bit tipsy, she dozed off immediately. I went to the bathroom and her boyfriend walked inside without knocking. Thank God I was in the toilet, he apologised and left to join his girl on the bed. After that, I went to sleep on the other side, the girlfriend in the middle. In the middle of the night, they started to make love and this so called boyfriend was using his left hand to touch me at the same time! I shifted away but he didn't back down, he continued. Just for him to stop, I almost fell off the bed. He left me alone and left the hotel very early in the morning. We didn't see him till in the evening at home. He pretended as if nothing happened. I spoke about it to one of her close friend (joyce) for advice on what to do. This friend said the boyfriend had done the same thing to her but that if we should my sis friend, she might not believe.

Few weeks later, I found a place, and started living there. To cut the long story shorter, my sis friend and Joyce quarelled and she spilled what her boyfriend did to her. She didn't believe but Joyce said he had done the same thing to me. I was shocked when she called and asked if it was true. I told her the truth. She shouted at me over rthe phone that I should have told her. I apologized.

Its been three years now and this lady is still having a grudge over it. Don't know why she is still angry, keeping malice with me. This same boyfriend cheats and beats her yet they are still together till today. This same boyfriend still chat with me once in while on whatspp to ask how I am doing.

Was I wrong not to tell her what he did. I didn't want trouble and even if I did, I knew she wouldn't leave him.


  1. Hmmmmm. Well. You weren't but even now that she knows you see it still didn't make any difference. She's still with him. As for her keeping malice with you eh. It's the same thing that is making her keep malice with you that is also responsible for her staying with that dude. Move on with your life Jare


  2. Invite her over or call her on the phone for a lunch with you paying for it. When she comes tell her you were sorry for not telling her cos you thought she wouldn't believe you. Also, that nothing actually happened between you two cos you made sure noting happen.

    Moreover, it's not right for the both of you to keep grudges over a stupid man. Probably, God didn't want her to end up with the guy.

    1. And I think you should stop chatting with him... Block him on all social platforms you both belong. No matter the kind of education you give to some women about abusive partners, some would still not take heed.

      How can a lady keep up with a man who beats her? Baffles me

    2. Brendan's couch is right. Call her for lunch, then apologize to her. Try n patch things with her, and if she refuses, just let her be and also warn her on the implications of Domestic Violence. No woman should go through that because of fear of leaving alone.

  3. Even if you told her about it, she would still keep her tiny legs in the relationship. They would have put you in their middle to settle their quarrel and you would be the enemy. Forget her and move on.

  4. Leave her and live your life. You did what i think was right. Stop communicating with the shameless boyfriend.

  5. Ummmm! This happened quite a while back. You apologised already, you can't change the past, bother not and move on.


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